Leaving Anchorage, the Glenn highway snakes along the base of the Chugach mountains as traffic moves toward the Mat-Su valley. It’s a drive I’m very familiar with. Jeff and I commute to work with so many others who choose to live away from the big city.
The reasons are many: good schools, more bang for the buck in housing, safer communities, and more elbow room.
As the road makes a long turn, the Knik and Matanuska river bridges come into view. Ice now covers much of the water alluding to the cold winter weather upon us. Moose are often seen in sweeping views of the Palmer Hayflats. My record for a one way drive was 26 last spring.
The highway splits with the Parks heading up to Denali and Fairbanks. The Glenn or Hwy 1 continues on to Glennallen.
“Highway” is a relative term in Alaska. There are so few roads. Two lanes of asphalt wind lazily through forests and lakes. The Glenn passes the Alaska State Fairgrounds on it’s right, Noisy Goose cafe on the left. Then, it reaches the heart of Palmer, Alaska.
Sitting in the shadow of Pioneer Peak, Palmer is a quintessential Alaskan community, a gateway to the interior of Alaska. A wonderful small town.
There are churches, Palmer and Colony middle and high schools, fun shops and restaurants, a golf course. It’s a recreational paradise encircled by stunning mountains on the edge of wilderness. Rural and agricultural by nature, good solid people make up the core.
It’s the place we call home. It’s a place most of us considered safe.
Shattered
On November 13, a 16 year old boy named David Grunwald took his girlfriend home that night. He told his parents he was heading to a friend’s house afterwards and would be home a little late. He never made it back.
Every parent’s worst nightmare, it was as though he had vanished. There were so few clues.
The next day, as news spread through the valley and schools, his burned out Ford Bronco was found in Wasilla about 20 miles from where he was last known to have been. I knew in my heart, the outcome would not be good. A frantic search was underway.
I felt a sense of panic creep into my soul. We live in the middle of where all this had taken place. What kind of monster was our community dealing with who would take a child, and leave only violence behind.
If this could happen to such a nice kid, what was to stop it from happening to one of mine. The unknown was absolutely terrifying. I wouldn’t let my kids do anything without being accompanied by an adult.
Many of us prayed and shed tears, feeling deeply heartbroken for David, his family, and his friends. A lit billboard and multiple fliers were constant reminders of what had taken place. As time passed, my hope was that the case would break to bring resolution home for his loved ones.
On December 2, David was found off Knik River Road. We shed tears and an entire valley is mourning deeply.
The Alaska State Troopers had indeed cracked the case, and made an arrest. The person arrested in this heinous crime…a 16 year old boy.
Innocence Lost
I don’t know David or his family. I grieve as a fellow mother, and community member.
But my kids knew him. Bridger had several classes with David over the past couple of years and described him as a “fun kid”, always nice to be around and friendly to everyone. He also saw him on the ski slopes, or driving around in his Bronco he had fixed up. David and Bridger shared a common bond that both had worked on their vehicles to turn them into a teenage boy’s dream.
By Bridger’s account, David was a typical boy, a classmate, a friend. One of many good and not so good kids who make up the social world of teens in the Mat-Su valley.
Both Summer and Bridger know the alleged murderer. I was almost sick to my stomach when I found out Summer was friends with him on several social media sites. “What ifs” left a cold, numb feeling.
The awful news is what kids are talking about this week at school, church and in homes. This didn’t take place in Los Angeles, or Chicago; this murder was in Palmer, Ak.
How do you even begin to explain to them what happened. Saige has expressed fear, Summer is somber, and Bridger is trying to mask disbelief.
I have no answers. I tell them, I don’t know what made this boy and likely others do what they did. They wonder if there were signs or indications that this was a bad person. I just can’t answer that question.
Saige asked me, “Are there more kids like that?”. I don’t know. How do you tell a 10 year old to be cautious, but not live in fear, or a 14 year old to purge her social media constantly, or console an 18 year old that yes, these kids were your friends. The kids here won’t be the same.
The parents? How do I ever let my kids attend parties, activities or chill out in places I’m not watching like a hawk.
Moving Forward
The events of the past month or so have rocked many to the deepest reaches of our souls while stirring up our darkest nightmares. I’m still moved to tears and continue praying and grieving for David’s parents.
So many lives have been shattered. His family, the perpetrators’ families, David’s friends and classmates are all suffering. It will be a very long time before many are able to heal.
Most of all, the saddest part is that a young man with so much potential will never be able to reach it in this life, his innocence lost.
I live under no illusions that Alaska isn’t a dangerous place to live. There are unsavory people and circumstances that we do our best to avoid. The horrifying fact is that I never thought we’d have to witness a story like this unfolding right in our backyard in a place like Palmer, Alaska. My only hope and prayer, is that it never happens again and that justice is served.
*After posting: On Friday, Dec. 9, 4 more valley teens have been charged in the murder, bringing the total to 5 kids under the age of 19.
Anthony Bennett
December 11, 2016 at 6:42 amHas the reason for this Crime,been established??
Janet Bowman
December 11, 2016 at 6:51 amThere have been several reasons floated around in the media and I can’t speculate which is correct. Hopefully as the trial comes, there will be more definitive answers.
Charlsea
December 12, 2016 at 12:33 amThe victim had smoked the murderers marijuana.
Janet Bowman
December 12, 2016 at 7:06 amMy guess is there’s more to it than that. (If readers want additional details, there are plenty of news media articles to google. This post is not for legal, or speculation purposes.)
Cherie Tomlinson
December 11, 2016 at 1:41 pmYou expressed my thoughts and feelings, eloquently, beautifully and tenderly.
Thank you!
Janet Bowman
December 11, 2016 at 2:44 pmThank you Cherie. It’s been hard on so many people for such different reasons. These were my feelings as a mother.
Used to live there
December 11, 2016 at 4:29 pmWe lived in Anchorage by the University and loved our time there. I worked for a local airline and my wife substitute taught at the schools, including the High School. All schools seem to have a rough element to them, but not surprising as Anchorage is a military town with a strong transient element to it. We started our stint in Alaska out in the bush. My wife again substituted at the one building school in a remote village on the Bering Sea. Surprisingly the schools there had a rough element, and I was not comfortable with my wife walking down the main street of the village. She was constantly being glommed onto by the intoxicated and the unabashed, as she is an attractive woman, even if I do say so myself. Seems there is humaness anywhere you go. I understand concern and caution, but not the level of anxiety and almost panick that is in your writing.
Yes, it is a horrific situation however keep perspective. We are human beings that behave in a human like fashion, which includes the deeds of angels, and the behavior below that of the beasts. The beautiful thing about a place like Palmer (we loved going to the fair up there in September) is that you get a lot more of the former than the later. When the later does come to town and touches the hearts of the secure, it can be very unnerving, promoting fear, anxiety and panick. But realize that perspective is needed. Run the numbers, the stats and let your caution be predicated by the numbers. If you lose perspective you may miss the things that are really at your statistical doorstep, things like sexual abuse, addiction, and the number one preventable killer of teens, suicide. I’m getting to be an old hand. Love the place you are at, emotionally and physically. Keep calm, change what you can and accept what you can’t. There will be no healing for David’s family, just dealing. Love this family out of love, not fear for your own. And please, let your kids outside to play with you being scarce.
Janet Bowman
December 11, 2016 at 4:49 pmThank you for your candid advice. I agree there are good and bad elements to society everywhere you are. Trust me, I’ve seen the dark side of Alaska working in the only Level I trauma hospital in the state.
Yes, I am protective and love my kids and my words were accurate that this situation scared and panicked me when it first happened. No one really knew who we were dealing with.
But we don’t limit or keep them from being outside or with friends. I actually encourage it and look for opportunities for them to be outdoors and active in school and church activities I am cautious and try to ensure that I know parents and kids involved, where they are, or host an event myself.
What was so striking about this situation is the fact that David and some of those arrested are my kids peers. It scared them and I’m trying to help them balance their concerns. They unfortunately are not as sheltered as many would believe in Palmer. So I am a watchful parent and we take precautions. We are just trying our best to help them navigate through good and bad to adulthood.
As far as David and his family, my heart is broken for them as a mother, and the degree of suffering that they are going through. I grieve for the loss of a good kid with potential and for the kids and community as a whole. It’s not out of fear, it’s a feeling of compassion and helplessness that no matter what happens from this point on, we can’t change the past. So, how do we help the family now and work together for justice and a safer future. That’s my real hope.
Sarah Benedetto
December 11, 2016 at 5:56 pmThank you for writing this. Living in Palmer, it is indeed unnerving. I have been trying for weeks to put into words exactly what you just did. I love our little town and I never, ever understood those dateline shows when they said “it happened in a small, quiet town, one that no one would ever expect…” until now. Now, it is here. And, until it happens in your backyard, in your small quiet town, you won’t understand how unsettling it really is. Thank you for saying what so many of us are feeling.
Janet Bowman
December 11, 2016 at 6:02 pmThank you Sarah. Our community is full of amazing, compassionate, caring people. I hope we all can continue to come together for David’s family and for our future. You are right, no one prepares for anything this horrible to happen and we don’t truly know how to deal with it.
Jim Beck
December 11, 2016 at 6:16 pmThank you for sharing this. Maybe it’s me, but it seems there is an unnerved feeling in the air when I am out and about in my beloved little town of Palmer. It feels like people are looking at each other a bit differently, sizing each other up, wondering who they know, what they know. Maybe it’s just me, maybe it’s because I have kids the same age. I don’t know, but indeed it feels our innocence is, at least temporarily, lost. I’d like it back and maybe your post will help.
Janet Bowman
December 11, 2016 at 6:36 pmThank you Jim. I agree people are unnerved, kids are unnerved and that is playing a big part of it. Combine the sadness and such a big loss with the realization of who did it and it’s a somber feeling that feels out of place for Palmer.
Terri Edwards
December 12, 2016 at 3:14 pmThis is so beautifully written and so true, as I read it it’s like you wrote everything I was feeling and thinking but could never get out. Thank you for writing this. By this event I have been scared, sickened, heartbroken, devastated and changed.
Janet Bowman
December 12, 2016 at 3:20 pmThanks Terri. My hope is that feelings can come out. And that anyone who was touched by what has happened knows they are not alone and that we can support each other.